A Would Be Love
by Dawna Morgan
Summary: A story of pretend where Shion is in love with Enju. I know it's not that good but it's fun to write so reveiw please. P.S. The charctures are not what you expect, I accidently changed things a little bit but I tryed to keep the essence of them the same.


_There she sat; quietly crying into her hands in the middle of the night. What had she been reduced to? Gyokuran wasn't worth this. But as much as Enju knew that it didn't stop her from pouring her soul into those quiet tears._

_Why did she do it? What was she hoping would happen? Did she think that it would change anything? Yes. She did. But it was an excruciatingly foolish notion._

_A small noise from the doorway caused her to snap out of her musings and whip around to face the intruder. There stood Shion, face hidden in the shadows as usual._

"_Isn't it a little late to be skulking around like that?" Enju asked, composing herself._

"_Never too late for skulking," Shion smirked, emerging from the shadows and stealing a chair from a nearby table in order to sit across from her. As she had unsuccessfully hidden her tears, Shion spotted her blood-shot eyes and furrowed his brow in concern, "What did Gyoku do this time?" How very perceptive - if judgmental - he was. _

"_It's not him, it's me."_

"_What did you do then?" Was Shion actually showing genuine interest in her life? There had to be something in it for him. She had no idea what, but there had to be something._

"_It's nothing you would be interested in."_

"_Try me," it may not have a glint of concern in his eyes but there was definitely curiosity there._

"_Forget it. It's nothing."_

"_If you say so," Shion said with a touch of - was it bitterness? As he got up and walked back toward the door._

"_Do you really want to know?" She asked, just as he got to the doorway._

"_Why else would I ask?" he said, turning around to face her. _

"_Fine," Enju said nodding slightly toward the chair to indicate that he should sit back down. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as he sat back down._

"_I slept with him," She said quickly, as if, trying to get it over with._

"_Who? Not Gyoku Ran?!"_

"_Who else?"_

"_But… but… but… why?"_

'_Why else?"_

"_But, it just doesn't make any sense," Why was he getting so worked up about this? It's not as if it concerned him in any way._

"_Why do you care?" Enju asked, feeling a little protective all of the sudden. Shion looked straight at her with eyes that were surely saying something but she wasn't sure wanted to know what. At that moment she felt him sending her a telepathic message but she didn't want to hear it. She blocked it out. This was getting too weird too fast._

"_Quit looking at me like that!" She said, wrapping her arms around her stomach protectively._

"_I'm not looking at you," he said as he turned his head away from her, looking out the large glass panel that showed KK in full view. "It just doesn't make sense…. Why do you love him?" His voice was a little softer than usual and it caught Enju off guard. Who was this person who was talking to her this way? It most certainly wasn't Shion; not the Shion she knew anyway._

_Enju opened her mouth to answer him but almost immediately closed it again. She didn't have to explain herself to him! Shion sighed. Wait a second - Shion sighed? Who was this guy? He put his head in his hands and sighed again and looked up, straight at Enju this time._

"_I'm sorry," he said leaning in a little closer._

"_For what?"_

"_Well, you were crying right?"_

"_Well… yeah," she said tentatively._

"_Than I'm sorry that you're sad," he was now so close that she could faintly smell his cologne still clinging to his shirt after a hard days work._

"_You are? You're truly sorry?"_

"_Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"_

"_I don't know… it just seems fairly out of character for you."_

"_And what do you know about my so-called 'character'? What you've heard from your precious Gyoku?" He scoffed and shook his head._

"_Well, that, and what I've observed."_

"_So you've been observing me?" What was that little half smile on his face? Not a smirk, but something else, it was hard to read._

"_I've observed things about everyone on this base," Enju said matter-of-factly._

"_Oh. I see," his face fell a bit and he got up._

"_Hey! Where are you going?" Enju asked._

"_To bed," why wouldn't he look at her?_

"_Why?"_

"_To go to sleep. Why else?"_

"_Oh. Okay," What was going on here? Why was he acting so weird? And why was she so disappointed that he was leaving?_

_Shion walked slowly toward the door yet again, But just as he got there he turned around to look at her._

"_Why?" He asked, putting more into that one syllable than she thought was possible._

"_Why what?"_

"_Why…" He trailed off. "Why would __he_ sleep with _you_?"

"Oh so you think I'm that repulsive? You think it's impossible that anyone would want to sleep with-"

"No," Shion said, cutting her off, "It just seemed like he didn't really care about you that much."

"Well, you don't need to worry because he still doesn't care," Enju squeaked, the tears welling up in her eyes again. Shion walked back over to her and put his arms around her. She let herself go and just cried every last piece of her broken heart into his shoulder. No one said anything. No one needed to. The only sounds were her echoing sobs bouncing off the walls. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Enju was out of tears, no more would come. So she straightened up and wiped her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry, but sometimes it's all too much and you just can't take it anymore, you know?"

"Yeah. I do know." Shion said, realizing that he still had his arms around her and quickly retrieving them. "I don't mind."

"Why not?"

"Huh?"

"Why don't you mind? Why do you keep acting so… so… so nice to me?"

"Do you not want me to? Because I was under the impression that people liked to be treated nicely."

"Well, yeah, but I just don't really expect it from you."

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to be the bad boy why says whatever he wants and doesn't give a damn about anyone else?" The mood of the room had suddenly changed from comforting to accusing so quickly that it almost caught Enju off guard again. She wasn't really one for arguments.

"I wouldn't put it like that but, yeah."

"So that's how you see me?"

"Well that's how you come off." 

"Well… I don't want you to see me that way." And now the mood was back to some weird, confused form of romantic tension.

"Why not?" Enju asked. Shion looked down, embarrassed.

"Because… well… I…. He doesn't deserve you."

"Gyokuren? Why not? He's a good guy." Enju said. Shion scoffed. "What? I thought you guys were friends."

"That self-riotous, pompous, pretentious bastard - "

"Don't call him that!"

"You still defend him even when he treats you like crap?" 

"He doesn't treat me like crap." Enju barely even believed herself but she couldn't stand to just sit here and listen to Gyokuren being abused. 

"Oh really? Than I guess you're sitting up here crying in the middle of the night because you're what, bored?" Enju looked down this time. It's true that he wasn't as nice to her as she deserved but she'd never admit that, even to herself. Shion had ventured into dangerous territory and if he didn't play his cards right he could end up in a lot of pain very fast. Because, even though Enju wasn't a violent person in general, at times she could get past her morals and strike out, if she really got pissed of. 

"Oh yeah, like you're one to talk?! You treat people like crap all the time, but here you go ripping on Gyokuren for doing the same thing, and he's not even as bad as you," That shut Shion up pretty fast. It was true, he could be a little harsh at times, but she didn't have to say it like that.

"Well, you shouldn't have anything against me, I've never treated you like crap--"

"Oh right, just everyone else on the base. Now, I'm not one to defend Mokuren or anything but you made her _cry. _And that's just not cool. Everyone can tell you're only mean to her because you care about her--"

"_Moku Ren_? Please! She's worse than Gyoku. Always peddling her 'holier-than-thou' attitude acting like she's better than everyone just 'cause she has some fucking little dots on her head."

"That's what I mean. The way you always tear her down and act all annoyed, I think it's just because you care."

"Oh, come on! You and I are the only sane ones around here, we both know that."

"That fact withstanding, you can't say you don't feel something towards her."

"If by 'something',__you mean annoyance and frustration than, yeah I feel something."

"Fine, be stubborn if you want to, but you're going to realize it at some point, just you wait."

"Well, I wouldn't want you thinking that I care about Moku Ren that way," Shion's tone had changed suddenly again.

"And why is that?" Was she flirting back?

"Because…" He paused for so long she thought he might not say anymore, but than he said, "Because I care about you that way." It came like a sudden blow to the chest; like she'd been stabbed with an ice pick in the heart, but in a good way.

"You- you do?" 

"Yes. I do," Shion was staring so intently into her eyes that she had to look away, "And it hurts to see you throw yourself away on that bastard. I shouldn't have to try to be like him just to get you to see me that way, that's not fair, that's not right." 

Enju was speechless. Where was all this coming from? What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed do? She couldn't think so she didn't bother to try; she just opened her mouth and let whatever words wanted to fall out be heard.

"You're right." Shion, who had stopped looking at her, lifted his head out of his hands where it had been hidden. That was not something he was used to hearing.

"I am?"

"Yes, you are. It's not fair that you should have to try to be like someone else just to catch my attention." Enju's brain had shut down and the words coming out were no longer filtering through it. Heck, they weren't even checking with it anymore, they just come strait out of her heart… or somewhere in that area. "But…" Enju looked at him tentatively and let her words trail away. Shion looked back at her intensely and - without thinking - leaned in and kissed her. Enju didn't know what to do so she just let her mind shut down and kissed him back.

"What's with you today?" Shusuran asked while they were working the next day. "You've been awfully quiet. You recovering from a hangover or something?"

"Why not. Everyone else is."

"I know! It got pretty crazy last night; but what happened after I left? You and Gyoku looked pretty cozy," Shusuran said suggestively.

"Nothing happened. Well, something happened, but nothing meaningful, or so he would say." Enju said, staring fixedly at the large monitor in front of her.

"Oh, well, that explains everything," Shusuran said sarcastically. 

"You'd probably just be disgusted with me if I told you."

"You're really not making me want to hear it less." 

"Fine. You really want to know?"

"Yeah! Why else would I ask?" Shusuran said, glancing at Enju. Enju looked down and still didn't say anything. "Oh, come on," Shusuran urged. "Why are you being so secretive? It's not like you guys had--" Enju looked straight at her with eyes that said it all. "You didn't!"

"Yes. We did."

"Why? I mean, I know why you did, but why did he- not that I think no one would want you, it just that- this is _Gyoku_ we're talking about."

"Well… besides the fact that we were both smashed…

"Okay, point taken. But still, why do you keep doing this to yourself? Are you a glutton for punishment or something? You're only going to end up getting hurt."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I'm already getting hurt?"

"Well yeah, but--"

"Save it, okay. I don't need your lectures. I'm sick of it, of all of it! I'm sick of hearing how pointless and stupid this love is, I'm sick of you telling me all these things, like I don't know that I'm hurting myself; like I don't feel it. I know! So just save it! I don't want to hear it!" Enju was yelling at this point. She was tiered of being told what to do, she was tired of being told things she already knew as if she was a child. She turned and ran out into the hall, leaving a very bewildered, shocked and slightly hurt Shusuran behind. But Enju didn't care about any of this right now. She just wanted to run, run away from it all. She ran farther down the hall and into something solid. A look upwards revealed that it was Shion. She tried to run past him but he grabbed her wrists and stopped her.

"Fancy meeting you here," he said a little flirtatiously, but after catching a glimpse of her face his expression instantly darkened. "What did Gyoku do this time?"

"Why does everyone always assume that he's the only reason I ever get upset; I get upset for plenty of other reasons," Enju said, still crying and struggling to break free of Shion's grasp.

"Name one," Shion said.

"Okay, how about _you"_

"Me? Why would I make you cry."

"Oh, I don't know," Enju started sarcastically, "Maybe because you tell me you like me out of the blue and just expect me to just drop everything and fall for you too,"

"I don't expect you to do that," Shion said softly capturing her eyes in a penetrating stare.

"Than what do you expect?"

"I don't know. I guess I didn't really expect anything, all I could do was hope that maybe you might reciprocate," He shot her an oddly tender look that almost made her change every preconceived notion she'd ever had about him. "But now that I know you never will, I'll stop bugging you. If you're so determined to be in love with that stuck up, pompous--"

"You know what? Just stop it! Stop all of it! I don't want to hear it so just save your lectures, okay?" Enju raised her voice as she struggled and pulled against his grip again but he wouldn't budge.

"So you really do love him don't you?" Shion said a little sadly, but honestly.

"Yes I do," She said strongly and defiantly but quieter.

"So I really have no chance with you what-so-ever?" Shion said, letting her wrists go.

"Well… you might have a little chance," Enju said with a half smile. "If it's any consolation you're a _much_ better kisser than he is." She shot him one last smile and pushed past him and continued to walk down the hall.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Gyokuran emerged out of the shadows.

"Oh? And what is that?" Shion asked, unfazed.

"You're trying to take me out of the picture by pushing Enju to be with me."

"Oh yes," Shion started sarcastically. "By admitting my feelings for her and trying to convince her to get over you I'm obviously using some sort of reverse psychology to push her into the arms of a jerk she doesn't deserve and finally have my shot at a woman I hate. Ooh, I'm so clever."

"So I was right!" Gyokuran said with a look of faux triumph on his face.

"You're hopeless. You always think everything's about you. Did it ever occur to you that I might _actually _like her?"

"Oh, what? You think I don't know you. You'll use her for your own selfish needs and than toss her aside, just like you do with everyone else who takes the time to give a crap 

about you."

"You think you know me so well." Shion said.

"Don't I?" Gyokuran shot back. Shion didn't answer. He just walked away toward some piece of equipment that probably needed repairing. Gyokuran however turned toward the control room when Shusuran still sat.


End file.
